


Some Legends are Told

by losyanya



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Any potentially angsty bits to be hastily covered up with humor as canon intended, Canon-Typical Discorporation, Canon-Typical Talking Over Each Other, Crowley's Flat (Good Omens), Crowley's Wrestling Statue (Good Omens), Fanart, I tried for spooky but landed on crack, M/M, Not Really Character Death, One Shot, Racket's 13 days of Halloween, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), plus it was a long time ago and not described At All
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27258988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losyanya/pseuds/losyanya
Summary: An ancient legend, a new piece of decor, an eager-to-please floor and the question of Crowley's taste in art.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29
Collections: Racket’s 13 Days of Halloween





	Some Legends are Told

**Author's Note:**

> For Racket's 13 days of Halloween, prompts - Legends and Bones.  
> Much gratitude and appreciation to [werebear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/werebear) for beta reading!

\- Angel? Angel, where’d you go? Are you fawning over the plants again? Come on, we talked about a balance of proper discipline and whatever you wish to call your coddling—

\- Well-deserved praise.

\- Whatever, but you can’t overdo—Oh. Um. 

\- Just studying this lovely piece. Certainly not _my_ style, but it does make a nice accent of white among all this gray, and fits into your… aesthetic.

\- R-right. Thanks.

\- I have not seen it here before.

\- But you know, it does remind me of something...

\- ...Yeah?

\- I do check the news from time to time, Crowley. I will admit that access to The Inter-net that you so insisted on has been useful at times. And I do recall a certain article—a series of articles, in fact—about the disappearance of an ancient, not widely known but locally much prized relic from—southern China, was it? A very large snake skull. 

\- Nnnnmmm-ungkh.

\- Just like this one here. Do you happen to know anything about that?

Shuffling sounds of a human-shaped demon assuming a less-human shape of a tangent function along the wall. A fine crackle of dimensional fibers rapidly stretching inside a pair of womens jean pockets, struggling to accommodate a pair of fists thrust into them with much more vigor than the laws of physics and fashion permit.

The ground underneath Crowley’s feet (well, the floor really, multitasking as the ceiling to the flat below) considers opening up voluntarily and preemptively, rather than waiting to be forced to do so, but holds still under a silent command. “ _Not time to panic. Yet.”_

\- You know, that skull has quite a history. It was the focal point of a local legend, a tale of conflicting villages banding together to defeat a giant snake terrorizing the populace- 

_\- wasn’t terroriz_ — 

\- Which brought long-standing peace upon the land, so it was held in high regard by their descendants, and it’s most understandable they are rather upset by the fact that it was stolen— 

_\- ‘t wasn’t stealin_ ’— 

\- And would be even more upset if it was _purloined_ solely to fit a particular aesthetic in someone’s decor. And at what time! Just when this artifact gained the long-deserved spotlight, and a national institute was dispatching a team to study it properly— 

_\- that’s exactly the probl_ — 

\- And what a pity for them to be robbed of this opportunity! There were plans to - if I recall correctly - _gene_ test the skull and some other curious intention… to _carbon_ date it!- 

_\- well no one asked if my skull is interested in dating_ —

\- And now it will nev—oh. _Oh_.

Aziraphale stills, big bright eyes growing yet bigger and brighter.

“ _Is it time_?” wonders the floor, but is left hanging. “ _Must not be just yet…_ ”

\- Crowley, that’s—I’m sorry, I did not realize—did not even consider that in serpent form you had ever—oh dear.

\- Angel, it was so long ago, I just couldn’t let scientists get ahold of it, they have their hands full with the dinosaurs anyway— 

\- Then the legend—it is true?

\- Eh, no. Wasn’t terrorizing anyone, just—a bit of a misunderstanding. And the account of the humans’ martial prowess was terribly exaggerated.

\- Then how—?

_\- perhaps that of the serpent too, not that it was even relevant_ — 

\- Given that size—you would have been quite powerful— 

\- Well, not having hands did get in the way of pulling miracles— 

\- I’ve seen what you can do as a serpent and— 

\- Look, can we maybe just NOT talk about it?

…

\- So, my dear... now that it is back in your possession, what do you intend to do with it?

\- No big plans, really. Jus' leave it there, on display, I think? It’sss under the lamp... makes a nice basking spot...

\- Your own. Skull. For basking? You don't find that a touch morbid?

\- Big fan of morbid. So a good brooding spot also. Alas, poor Crowley...

\- Pity Will cannot witness _that_ monologue.

\- It does make a nice reminder.

\- Reminder—of this incident you don’t wish to recount?

\- Nah. Reminder of this, er, possibility. Kinda warning.

\- Warning?

\- A cautionary tale. Gotta be careful, you know, despite our inherent advantages. Cause I don’t s’pose any further replacements are forthcoming...

\- Oh, Crowley… Yes. Of course. You are right.

\- N-no need to dwell right now - come on, angel, I had the film picked, the wine is getting all lonely... Let’s jus’ say the relic got _rehoused_ for a better purpose than aesthetic, alright? Just—carries a deeper meaning, like an art piece.

\- Very well. Speaking of art—perhaps then you could enlighten me on the deeper meaning of that statue in the hallway? With what appears to be a demon on top of an angel? I've been wondering for a while...

_“Now”_ , the thought rolls across the floor. “ _Now is the time to panic.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This fanart and ficlet were previously posted on Tumblr [here](https://losyanya.tumblr.com/post/633222160445505536). I'm [losyanya](https://losyanya.tumblr.com/) over there - please feel free to chat with me about anything and everything!


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